Updated: Oct 31, 2022
Submitted Reign A.
I've been debating if I wanted to share my story. I have mix emotions about it honestly and I'm finally coming to peace with it.
Let me do a quick summary and then you'll understand...
WELL WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS:
"I am the youngest daughter of my 8 older sibling.
And, no, we all don’t have the same mom.
Hopefully you can see where this story is headed.. okay? okay!
Growing up, I didn’t get to see my older sisters or little brother as much I hoped or even dreamt I could. Crazy part is, I was ALWAYS near by; location wise.
I was raised by my mom and my older brother's dad, on my mom side. Which was fine until June of my 6th grade year.
My life got turned around. I found out that the man who raised me, wasn’t my real dad and that the man who was my real dad, wanted to get to know me, and be in my life. At first, I thought it would’ve be fine what could hurt. Until I began to realize what I was losing: I was losing one father for another one. And at the age of 11, that was a lot to handle you know. I was scared, I was hurt, and I felt unwanted and unloved. I told myself, that everyday for YEARS (YEARS okay!), I thought my whole life was a lie; I couldn’t trust no one. Because how could someone allow me to get so close to man who I thought was my dad, just to get him taken away.
I grew anger for my real father because why didn’t come get me sooner?? Was I not good enough?? Was I not smart enough or pretty enough?? Did he not want me?? I thought I was worth being loved don’t you think?! "Dad why didn’t get you your baby girl sooner ?!! You could’ve saved me so much pain and heartache."
I needed to know the truth sooner. I was forced into visitation with my real dad. No, it didn't go well. It was awkward and uncomfortable; I was too stubborn to forgive or even try to understand what was story or reasoning behind anything. I just knew he abandoned me and for that, he could never be forgiven.
Fast forward to high school. I got a message from a young lady saying she was my sister. It felt like the movies lol but it was REAL. She found me and reached out. I was truly happy, I remember being super young and I would always go to her lol. She was my favorite sister. We caught up and we started to get to know each other. It started off slow, but over the years we gotten wayy closer!
I remember during those years, she would speak highly of our dad but also still keep it real and I appreciated that. I felt a little left out because I wasn’t in any of the family stories of memories but I knew her intentions was pure. It was because of her, I felt comfortable trying to rekindle a bond with my dad. It took some years, a lot of tears prayers, and patience. But this summer, was when I was able to get a breakthrough! Thanks to my big sister, I told her I just wanted closure with everything that happened. She told me that dad would tell me everything I wanted to know with proof; I knew needed that. So I went and spoke to him, and he told me the whole story on what happened. And let me tell you once I got back in the house, I let all that information marinate in my mind.. I broke down and cried. I thought all these mean things about him when he tried he really tried his best; and that’s all you can ask of someone.
Y’ all it hurt me so bad knowing I was such a mean person to him when he was just trying to fix things. At first I blamed him, but now I blame myself for not being more opened minded. If I would’ve just gave him a chance, maybe things would’ve been different. I thank the lord daily for giving me my big sister. Without her I wouldn’t be where I'm at today! I promise you since the day we got back in contact, she's done nothing but help and guide me. She is my biggest blessing, and I'm FOREVER thankful for her. Without her, I wouldn't have gotten my dad back or got to know my nieces and nephew or other siblings.
I prayed on this!! I would literally ask God to help me to forgive my dad, and he did. Now I'm growing a stronger bond with him. I can finally put my childhood trauma behind me."
"A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart."
Reign, I love you... I love your growth. I love your accountability. I love your spirit. You are such a kind and beautiful soul and I am so happy that there is a finally a happy ending to such a traumatic period of your life. I am even more proud that you are not letting it define who you are as a person and I am so happy you and your dad are bonding/healing together. Thank you for sharing this sensitive, but beautiful story.
GIRL DADS REMEMBER:
From day one, dads are encouraged to be hands-on, changing diapers, giving baths, putting baby to sleep and calming her cries. That presence and effort is the beginning of a very important relationship.
A dad’s involvement in his daughter’s life is a crucial ingredient in the development of a young woman’s self-esteem. Verbal encouragement, being consistently present in her life, being alert and sensitive to her feelings, taking time to listen to her thoughts and taking an active interest in her hobbies.
Direct involvement and encouragement by her father will help diminish a girl’s insecurity and increase her confidence in her own abilities.
The type of men that women date and have long-term relationships with are also directly related to the kind of relationship a girl has with her father.
If you can relate to this submitted story, comment and share your own #WWHHW moment.
*This forum is not a substitute to getting professional help*