Okay Lord! I see the sign…
I was a full blown functional junky... but you'd never know. I was a mother, a hard worker, and I was in a relationship (but he was using as well). I wasn't in a rush to change either because I've been using drugs all my life since I was about 12 years old. Especially since I was able to still do everything, why change right? ... but this one traumatic event made me rethink it all....
*WARNING: sensitive content/trigger warning. Please be advised before continuing*
WELL WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS:
"One evening, I went out to a friend's house; it was a small gathering. We had planned to shoot you a bit, eat, drink, and just "relax"... As I walked in, I said hey to everyone and realized I needed to use the bathroom before I shoot up, and there was only ONE bathroom in the house. As I waited, I became restless! Like what the hell is going on in there!?... I was told by a friend that there's a guy in there trying to shoot up but he's having trouble getting the needle in. Well, I offered my services because I was a frequent needle user and I told him if it's meth, then I can help you. But if it's anything else, I'm not gonna give you the shot. He assured me it was meth and I said okay. As I began to put the needle in his arm and push in the drugs, before I could even finish, he immediately passed out! Now I'm only 5'2 and he's 6'3!! So imagine my small self catching this big man before he hits the ground. As I tried laying him down, I looked at his face and saw his lips turning blue and so was his face! He was dying right in front of me!
I instantly screamed for help and for some narcan. There was none around! I shouted "How the hell do you have a party with drugs and no narcan to reverse it?!".. I instantly panicked because I was the one that gave this man the shot!... he was going to die because of me!
I instantly started doing compression on his chest and the others grabbed some ice cold water to help bring him out. Eventually he started twitching and lips were turning normal. As soon as he opened his eyes, I yelled "what the hell is your problem!?" He kept twitching and apologizing. I immediately grabbed that needle, put the top on it, and left! I didn't want any of my prints here with him nor did I want him to finish whatever he took! I threw that needle down the drain and started crying...
I didn't know if that was my sign to stop using but I tell you what! You never saw me with a needle again.
I've been 18 months clean so far.... that experience woke me up.. of course I had my relapses along the way but the day I woke up and decided to change, I did."
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