Submitted Anonymously
*WARNING: sensitive content/trigger warning. Please be advised before continuing*
There's this saying, That regardless of how it feels, hearing the truth is always better than being comforted by a lie.
"I have seen several wonderful movies of the women meeting the perfect guy and they have children and the man loves the children and teach them about love and protecting the family and how no one should abuse you … all the bells and whistles right?
WELL WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS:
I really don’t remember a lot about my childhood but what I keep replaying in my dreams and nightmares is this:
My mother met this guy whom I didn’t like from the start. This man would only work and then come home just to beat me and my mom’s ass every day after drinking. Even though I would jump in to try to help, it didn’t help but it got worse.
Did she leave him?
Lord, no.. it kept going on for years.
I was like Jesus, what is my mom thinking- why can’t we just
pack our stuff and leave?!
Let me just say, now that I am older I understand a little more. But sometimes when I think
back, I will never understand that part of my life.
To make it even worse, the shit just went from light to super heavy... folks KNEW this man would hit me and my mom but they did nothing.
Our Family?.. family is not always as it seems. We eventually moved to another house and at this time it was a little different .. he soon asked my mother to marry him and even after all the beatings and hiding she STILL said yes.
At this house, my room was adjacent to theirs and I never would have thought that what happened next would happen to me but I'm sure you can guess..
this so called "man" that supposed to protect me and my mother and cherish us, is trying to sleep with me. In my mind, I am like what is really going on!?
What should I do? Hell, what can I do?!
One night my mom comes in my room (this made me sick to my stomach that this
memory came to me) my mom was prepping me and I did not have a single clue what was going on. As I share this, it is making me angry but not as much as before...
Being older and learning a few things on my own, I know now, she did what she thought would keep her nasty ass husband happy. Even if it meant she would have to sacrifice her child to make this man happy, she was willing to do it.
I'm sure you're asking now: HOW do you speak and STILL deal with your mom?
I say even in all the trauma I have faced on this earth, I still love her to the end.
She didn’t protect me but I will never disrespect her and in some ways, and I've always tried my best to protect her. Going through this made me and still to this day I have insecurities of how I look and feel, but I still press on.
Did I go to counseling? No, because I just haven’t had the courage to actually do it. Going to church and praying and trying to release this horrible act- I have tried but it still bothers me to this day. Why you ask? Because when I finally had the courage as an adult to confront my mom and her husband... she just looked at me like I made it all up. And to top it off, all the friends and family was the same!
"HE ISN’T LIKE THAT, YOUR LYING."
OK! Well let me be quiet again but just know, the husband knows I hate his guts.. and all I continue to see is myself is walking up to this man and stabbing the fuck out of him.
So I promised myself that I would never do what my mom did – no kid should be offered up for some sick shit like that.
Even in all this madness, I still love my mom and I forgive her and hope and pray one day she will say something for being a stupid lady. Who knows?.. she probably will never say it.
Forgiveness over everything., but is it true forgiveness
I say yes but if you know of someone who is in an abusive relationship or you know
something is wrong, HELP them and GET them out.
You never know... this could save their lives"
Anonymous submitter... thank you for telling your truth.. I know how hard this must have been to submit but it also shows how strong you truly are. I pray this story does help another, male or female; abuse of any kind should not be taken lightly. It's hard for a parent to hear that they played a part in their child being hurt, but I pray she takes accountability in the future. I pray that this also does not hinder you from receiving counseling in the future. The best part of therapy, they're there to help and not judge... and just like me, there want to hear your story and advocate in anyway. I wish I could hug you from behind this screen; sending you all the love and prayers I have to give.
If yourself or someone else is dealing with abuse, there is nothing wrong with seeking help.
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Available 24 Hours A Day/7 Days A Week
Available in English Spanish, and MORE! Interpretation Services are available.
1-800-799-7233
Help with Domestic Violence Information, Options, Counseling, Legal and Shelter Services
Toll FREE: 24hrs. Confidential and Multilingual
Phone: 1-877-863-6338
TTY: 1-877-863-6339
If you can relate to this submitted story, comment and share your own #WWHHW moment.
*This forum is not a substitute to getting professional help*
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